Yikes

Oh man, it is only 8:24am and already I have had one exciting morning!

First - I woke up late, again! I have been sleeping through my alarm and I have no idea how. I have it set for 5:45am and the buzzer sound. It is across my room, so I have to get out of my bed to hit snooze. Normally I wake up right before it goes off, but lately I have been sleeping though the obnoxious noise for an hour or so. So I woke up to sunshine and knew right away I had done it again. So I flew out of bed, threw on some clothes (I'm surprised I have clean socks on!), feed the bunnies and raced out the door.

Second - When I got to work, I had to help Charlie jump start the 95 van (I accidentally left the lights on yesterday so the battery was dead. Good thing the '92 van was around for me to drive home), then I had to make a fire cause Lee left after 2ND coating the stairs for a job and didn't start a fire (it helps the product dry faster and since he has already messed this project up several times, we need the darn things dry) but there wasn't any firewood in the shop. So I have take my little cart out back to the wood pile and drag some wood inside for my fire. There must have been some fumes in air, because when I started the blowtorch to start the fire, there was a REALLY big flame. I just kinda stood there for a minute... and then realised I was about to blow my self up. Oops. So I opened the big bay doors and turned on the venting fans (LEE!!!).

Third - I went inside to make coffee and as I was carefully measuring out the amount of grounds, I realised I was half an hour late to call Joel and make sure he was up. He has a big day today, and he was nervous that he might sleep late, so I offered to call and make sure he got up. He is interviewing for a full time position with Microsoft. He is working as a contractor, which means he actually works for Volt, who lends him to Microsoft for a year. At the end of the year, he is forced by Microsoft to take a 100 day vacation before he can start another contract with Microsoft. He is really excited since the full time job with Microsoft will be with the same team he is working with right now. This would be a great opportunity for him and he has studied really hard. I know he can do, but he was pretty nervous. So, half an hour after I said I would call, I called him. He was already up and showered, but he was worried I was sleeping late! Funny boy.

Fourth - Then Mom calls the house and tells me that, and I quote, "Your car doesn't like me anymore." With the way my morning is going (and the fact I have been ignoring a Check Engine light for the past month or so) I was afraid that some thing was really wrong. She had been trying to unlock the car for awhile but the stupid remote wasn't working. This has happened to me before and I just stand there and push it really hard over and over until the darn thing works. But for some reason it wasn't working for mom, and she was cold, and hungry. So I told her to use the key to unlock the car and brace and for the alarm. I walked her through the steps of popping the hood, finding the fuse box for the alarm, and pulling out the fuse. It was nutzy with all the noise of the alarm in the background and trying to work off a memory of the one time I had to do this before. But now Mom is eating breakfast with everyone, and will just use the key to lock the car.

I think I am ready for a nap. I have saved the day four times already this morning. Super heroes have it tough. Well, I better start to see what I can do for today. I have to get the office ready to function without me for the next week, as I leave for Mexico on Saturday!! Oh Boy!!

P. S. I believe it to be some unspoken rule that Chevy Vans (or any construction vehicle for that matter) is only able to receive AM Talk Radio or Classic Rock stations air waves. I found it ironic that no matter which van I drove, that seems to be all the radio can find to play. Oh how true the sterotype seems to be. :)

Have a great day everyone!

Sleeping On It

Sometimes it is amazing what sleeping on a dilemma can do for yourself. I went to bed last night, feeling a bit better but not anywhere near wonderful. I woke up feeling better about my own predicament, easier about a dear one's troubles, and generally at peace with myself.

On a side note...Here is something funny for you all. So yesterday, my Mom was getting ready to leave for a quilting retreat. She and some friends go away to all sorts of resort/retreat like places bringing with them their sewing machines, irons, ironing boards, all the stuff you need to work on a project. It is quiet an ordeal, and she loves going on these trips. So she was backing out the shop driveway (there are two driveways at my parents house; one for the house, and another for the shop) so she was backing her mini van out of the shop driveway and somehow managed to run the mini van passenger side back wheel up the support wire for the telephone pole. She did some major damage to the wheel and parts of the car... dad could hardly get the minivan off the wire, let alone get the tire off (she completely shredded the tire!). So they took the minivan into Charlie's Autobody to see if she could still make the 6hr round trip to her sewing retreat. They said, "No way! That is too far to drive". So Mom was upset that she was going to miss her retreat and wouldn't be able to refunded for it.

I felt bad for her, so I offered to lend her my car so she could go. Yes that is right. My Mom is driving my car to the retreat and I am driving a 1995 Half Ton Chevy Van. It's one of dad's old work vans, it is huge, and a bit ghetto looking because he is trying to sell it. So it doesn't have a company logo on it, it has been sitting in the driveway at the shop so it is dirty and covered in tree debris. I get all sorts of double takes... like "Whoa - A girl is driving that thing!". I just smile and wave at them. I have to park on the street instead of my apartment building's parking lot, cause I can't get the thing in there. I went to Fred Meyer and parked in the middle of no where, cause I have no idea how to park that thing. I have run over, bounced over, parked on, and driven up many of the curbs in Bellingham. It cracks me up to be driving this thing around town. I wonder what people think when they see me. I notice I get a lot more cops following me... maybe they think I am a trouble maker in my ghetto van. Oh - and the van has no guts so I have to floor it and hope I can get up to at least 50mph before I hit the free way.

So if you need a pick-me-up today, just think of me in my ride!

I Don't Want This

I just want to crawl in bed and forget the world. I don't responsibility today. I don't want to face the past. I don't want to struggle. I don't want to fail. I don't want the stress. I don't want this, I don't want this, I don't want this.

But I did it anyway. I was hoping that it would all be finished today. I had a plan, and followed it through, but nothing was really resolved. I still have to wait. I still couldn't take any of the first steps. Nothing was fixed, everything is still teetering.

I am just tired of it all. All I can say, is it better be fixed before Saturday. Mexico I need relaxing.

Grief Is a Thief

Grief Is a Thief

Grief is a thief
you have urged
to take you away
but with your own
key locks you,
wet with tears,
inside your musty
woolen closet and
turns out the light.
Dark in your trap
shared with moths
you cry long past dry
and choke on all why.
When you know it's
time (and you will):
burst
the closet open
into a room,burst
the room open
into a sky,
settle for no moons,
pray past all suns,
inhale from Cosmos.
Not earth are you
but the damp wick
of a future shining.
Strike your match
and light the way.

Alan Harris

This poem expresses my weekend better than I could.

Wish I Was Smarter

So our cabinet builder stopped by the office today and was explaining complication to Charlie about an upcoming job. I was working on something else, but listening to the conversation. Then, later in the day, I was listening to a debate on the radio about the democratic elections coming up and both speakers very incredibly interesting and well educated. This all got me thinking about my education. I don't think I am that smart.

Really, what did my Bachelors degree get me? Well, not much I guess. Especially since I have to learn how to do everything, it seems, for my job. I didn't learn how to write a Workers Fall Protection Plan, or even how to research and understand L&I laws, I don't have any accounting experience or education, I can't name all the countries, and honestly I am not even sure what name Russia is going by right now. I have no idea who are the State Senate or Legislative Representatives for Whatcom County. I don't even know off the top of my head what years the Revolution, Civil, or even World Wars started or ended. I know the general decades, but that is about it.

I started to think about what a Communications Degree is. Really I was taught the names and technicalities for the things we have learned how to do since birth. I have known how to communicate, but didn't know who developed the theories until I went to WWU. I am feeling depressed that my degree doesn't seem too real world applicable. Maybe if I was in marketing, journalism, or some field like that it would feel more suited. Why did I decide to get a Communication Degree? I am not excatly sure...

I wish that I was smarter when it comes to every day, real world stuff. Maybe I would be interesting if I could intelligently discuss current events, articulate my thoughts in a refreshing manner, or something along those lines. Maybe I should switch from reading fiction, and start to read non-fiction. Or is this a passing feeling of inadequacy and tomorrow I will be happy with my paperback edition of The Bell Jar. Who knows...

My Father's Daughter

I have turned into a walking, talking, spiting image of my father. I don't know if it is a result of spending 40+ hours a week with him, or if I was doomed to this fate from the moment I was born. Here are just a few of the ways I have become my father.

1. I listen to AM radio. Yep. I do. I listen to talk radio all day. I start my morning with the drive from Bellingham to Lynden and I listen to the morning news and talk show. Then I spend the first hour or two listening to music on my computer and then I switch over to a live-online version of am radio and spend the rest of my day listening to various republican talk shows. It is interesting to hear the different topics being debated, discussed, and thoroughly torn apart by various hard-core republicans. Sometimes I am irritated by what someone has said enough to turn the radio off, but typically it will last through my drive back to Bellingham.

2. I have a strong need to control. I usually express this need in terms of organization and cleanliness, but I am noticing it escape in other forms. For example my bi-weekly safety meetings. It drives me crazy when Charlie will start with the meetings off with schedule checks, and job updates... that is supposed to come after the safety meeting discussion and updates. But it makes me even more crazy when he talks over me or makes me skip the team building activity for the week. Then, guaranteed, two days later he will ask me why I didn't do some sort of team building activity at the bi-weekly meeting. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out. Although, I do have to admit the office is looking wonderful. It is actually taking on the look of an actual place of business, rather than just some desks and computers in a shop office. I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far.

3. I have to be on my own schedule - NOT someone else's. Growing up, my Dad would had this saying he would use when we would forget something at home when we left for school. "Poor planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part." This saying used to drive me crazy! I was going to be in trouble if Dad didn't bring my flute to school soon, I don't want to hear a lecture, I want you to get in the truck and bring my flute! Today - I live by this rule. I like to organize my day around what I want to accomplish, and when Dad comes into the office and wants me to give him my undivided attention on ten different topics, I want to pinch him, jab his ribs and go back to my work. I have my own things to get done. Just because you can't remember how to attach a file to your email, doesn't mean I have to put everything aside until you feel better. ...actually I do, that's my job.

4. It's My Way Or The Highway. I really do want things done my way. I try to be open to suggestions, but really, deep down, I just want them to conform to what I have already thought out. This doesn't transfer over to all areas of my life (at least I would like to think so), but it definitely shows up at work. It drives me crazy when Charlie puts something where I don't want it, or he doesn't follow my instructions. His idea of putting something away is to just throw it on my desk. (aka - I put it away). It drives me bonkers because I hate things on my desk. I think that is why he does it. Or he refuses to label things. He says he will remember what it is, but a week later he will ask me what this file is doing on his desk. Oh brother! He also keeps trying to take over the corner of my desk that is next to his desk. So I went out into the shop and found a long stick and use it to push his stuff off my desk and onto the floor. One day he will learn to knock it off.

Of course these are just a few, but they are the most obvious. I can see how one might see these traits as negative, but I see them as positive traits when used appropriately and in moderation. This is my task: To learn how to control my need for control. (hows that for a control freak! ha ha)

Just Rambling

I so did not want to get out of bed this morning. It was so warm and cozy. I really do hate alarm clocks. It is much nicer to wake up to the sun, than it is to wake up to an obnoxious buzzing noise.

I have picked up my tickets for the Mexican Cruise, and the crazy thing comes in a little travel pouch, with all these forms I have to fill out, their own luggage tags, tips and don't forget items, and all this other stuff. It is nuts. I don't have much time left to get down to my "bathing suit ready body" but I keep working out double-time and hopefully it won't be that bad. I think the real shocker will be that much of my white body exposed at once. That is a lot of whiteness.

Joel and I were talking about criminals who are actually really smart because they have figured out ways to get around the system. If only they hadn't gotten carried away, they probably could have gotten away with it. The discussion took me back to the course at WWU on deviant behavior. It almost becomes an addiction, a thrill of sorts, to attempt the deviant behavior again and again, each time raising the stakes, increasing the thrill, until finally an error is made and the criminal is caught. For example, in the Redmond area, a person has figured out how to use a pre-paid Visa with only $1 on the card to pump not only his truck full of gas, but the five one-hundred-gallon drums in the back of his truck. This guy has done it about three times and gotten away with it. That is a lot of gas, for $3. It is almost tempting to give it a try with the prices of gasoline on the rise. Joel and I debated what he must be using all that gas for. I think the person is either a semi-truck driver (or some occupation where he drives a lot and has to pay for his own gasoline) or he is in on the deal with other people who pay him for the gas which he is getting illegally cheap. Joel thinks he must be storing it somewhere. The criminal must have a years worth of gasoline stored up in his garage by now. If there are any stories of a huge explosion in the Redmond area... I think we have found the gas thief.

Easter was fun. It didn't seem like as big of a celebration as in the past. Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was just me. I actually ended up working through my family's Easter celebration. I was trying to make up for lost time when I was home sick and we had bills to pay, paychecks to print, and invoices to enter. It actually takes me a long time to do those things. I just like to double and triple check everything I do. I don't want to make any mistakes when it comes to the business's money. On actual Easter Sunday, Joel and I slept in and later went over his parent's house for dinner. His mom had cooked this original Passover/Easter feast. The meal was complete with bitter herbs, unleavened bread, lamb and beef, double dipped vegetables, mortar, and something else that is escaping me at the moment. It was all very good. I was surprised to find that freshly grated horse radish tastes slightly sweet to me. Everyone else thought I was nuts, but hey-what else is new?

Oh boy! It is almost 8:00; the official Coffee Hour. I start work at 7:00am and I usually start by ready email for a bit. Then I check out Post Secrets on Monday mornings. Then I check to see if anyone has posted a new blog. Then I head over to the Herald to check out the local news and to see if any of my latest press releases have been printed. Then I decide if I want to add to my own blog, or if I would rather read the news. By the time I am finished it has nicely turned into 8:00, and it is time to head into the house. That is the nice part about working in the family business. I get to see my family members every day. I spend all day out in the shop office with dad, and for coffee hour and lunch, I go in the house, eat my parent's food, watch their TV, read their paper, and then head home. It is wonderful. During coffee hour, mom and I eat Cheerios for breakfast, work on the newest crossword puzzle, and chat about the latest family news. It is really nice to be able to talk with my parents everyday. They really are neat people. I am enjoying getting to know my parents as an adult. It is pretty neat.