The last two days have been somewhat strange. I haven't been feeling very well. It wasn't really a flu or a cold. I had an upset stomach, couldn't keep my food down, but didn't have a fever or anything else that comes along with a flu. Not sure what the problem was, but today I am feeling much better.
Charlie is back in the office today. He has been in Arizona for the last week and a half for Baseball's Spring Training. Yep, it is almost time for my favorite sport to start to up again. There were mixed results to the changes I made to the office in his absense. I just got tired of the clutter, the messes, the piles, the mystery bolts and screws, and other strange piles often found in a remodeler's office. Now it looks like a true office. With labeled boxes, magazine bins, organized files, cleared off desks, blue-print bins, awards hanging on the walls, not a dust-bunny to be found, and I even organized a employee-work-station for when the boys stop by the office to drop of pick-up tickets, timecards, change orders. I have to say, I am really proud of what I have accomplished in the last week.
I can't believe that Easter is this weekend. Isn't it too cold to be egg hunting? Shouldn't we wait until there is at least some sun outside? Oh well. So, thanks to the holiday, it turns into another weekend of driving from Bellingham to Redmond every single day this weekend. Tonight, I will make the drive to Redmond. Tomorrow Joel and I will make the drive back up for my family's Easter function and afterwards we will make the drive back down. Then on Sunday, we will make the drive to Snohomish for his familys Easter dinner. Then we will make the drive back to Redmond, from there I will pick up my car and make the drive back to Bellingham. Sometimes holidays aren't that much fun. I do like chocolate bunnies, though.
I have made the decision to go on the cruise to Mexico. It was a tough decision, but I have finally come to make one. When a good friend needs you, and your one-and-only is wiling to let you go, you better go. I hope that it was the right decision. I think I feel so positive about my decision thanks to all the talking about it I have done with Joel. I believe I know how he feels, how he will feel, and how we will both feel when the special days comes and we are in two different countries. Man, life can be tough sometimes. (I can't belive I am complaining about life being tough when I am going on a cruise to Mexico!)
Well, I better get back all the stuff I have to do around here!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Happiness
I was thinking about happiness last night as I tried to fall asleep. How different people define happiness, how certain events make different people feel different levels of happiness, how I define my own happiness. I really do think I am genuinely happy. (the word happy is looking very silly to me right now, happy, happy, happy... strange).
I love my job. I am the Office Manager for Hudson Remodeling. My dad started this business when my family moved from Utah to Washington when I was five years old. He started with just himself and no one else. He would do all the work in the field and then come home and work all night in the office. He supported a family of six with his own bare hands. I admire my father for what he was able to do. My sisters and I had the average childhood. We were clothed, feed, and never needed. My dad sacrificed everything to give his family all he could. My mother was a stay at home mom, which I am sure was hard to do. We ate at home every night except for four times a year, when we would go out to dinner. My dad always encouraged good grades in school, even helped us with our homework after dinner. When report cards came home, it would be a big scene. Each of us kids, chewing our finger nails in worry that our grades wouldn't be good enough to get to go out to eat. But they always were. We would dress up in our finest and go out to Chinese, or Mexican. Not realising that other families did this all the time. My family even had code words that would let the kids know if we could order soft drinks or if 'water was good for me thanks'. Not sure how I got on this rant about my childhood, but the point is, that through it all, my dad did what made him happy. Today the business is supporting seven employees, we are known in the community for quality craftsmanship, and I am loving being a part of it all. We have joined a consulting firm who help remodeling companies refine their business, learn how to understand all the finance statements, how to simplify and streamline all the processes, how to best grow your company (do you continue to work in-house, do you sub out more and more, how to control quality when subbing out?). We have traveled to Baltimore, New York, Raleigh, Richmond, and Cincinnati for this group and have more coming up. The work place experiences I am gaining from being a part of all this is amazing! I can't believe how wonderfully this all fits with my 'bigger picture dream'.
...better get back to work, speaking of work. I have so much to do today. I will continue my rant on happiness another time.
I love my job. I am the Office Manager for Hudson Remodeling. My dad started this business when my family moved from Utah to Washington when I was five years old. He started with just himself and no one else. He would do all the work in the field and then come home and work all night in the office. He supported a family of six with his own bare hands. I admire my father for what he was able to do. My sisters and I had the average childhood. We were clothed, feed, and never needed. My dad sacrificed everything to give his family all he could. My mother was a stay at home mom, which I am sure was hard to do. We ate at home every night except for four times a year, when we would go out to dinner. My dad always encouraged good grades in school, even helped us with our homework after dinner. When report cards came home, it would be a big scene. Each of us kids, chewing our finger nails in worry that our grades wouldn't be good enough to get to go out to eat. But they always were. We would dress up in our finest and go out to Chinese, or Mexican. Not realising that other families did this all the time. My family even had code words that would let the kids know if we could order soft drinks or if 'water was good for me thanks'. Not sure how I got on this rant about my childhood, but the point is, that through it all, my dad did what made him happy. Today the business is supporting seven employees, we are known in the community for quality craftsmanship, and I am loving being a part of it all. We have joined a consulting firm who help remodeling companies refine their business, learn how to understand all the finance statements, how to simplify and streamline all the processes, how to best grow your company (do you continue to work in-house, do you sub out more and more, how to control quality when subbing out?). We have traveled to Baltimore, New York, Raleigh, Richmond, and Cincinnati for this group and have more coming up. The work place experiences I am gaining from being a part of all this is amazing! I can't believe how wonderfully this all fits with my 'bigger picture dream'.
...better get back to work, speaking of work. I have so much to do today. I will continue my rant on happiness another time.
Monday, March 17, 2008
To Cruise or Not to Cruise
So this weekend was a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of this last month. I was looking forward to doing nothing but relaxing with Joel. Even though my body was laying on the couch, my mind has been busy trying to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Do I go on a free cruise to Mexico or do I stay in town for our one year anniversary?
Pros of Going to Mexico - How often do you a get a chance to take a ten day cruise to Mexico completely free (minus spending money)? NEVER! All I have do is come up with spending money. No problem there. I would be snorkeling in the beautiful pacific, swimming with dolphins, laying in the sun every day, and drinking margaritas until I am silly. I have been needing a break and the chance to reconnect with my friend would be wonderful. Not to mention the wonderful chance of actually tanning this summer. I already have asked for the time off work, and it won't interfere with my trip to North Carolina.
However...
Cons of Going to Mexico - I feel as though I would be picking a friend over the true love of my life. I feel that Joel is the one I was meant to meet and fall in love with. I know that we will be together for a long time, but I don't want to fail at my first hard choice. What kind of message does it send to Joel if I abandon him on our first year anniversary together? Would he loose faith in me? Even just the tiniest bit? Is this worth a tan?
Even though Joel has said that he doesn't mind if I go, since this is a rare opportunity, but I feel he would prefer I stay in town. My mind flops back and forth, and with the pressure of the deadline, it all brings me to tears. Which is frightful all on its own. I feel that torn. Our anniversary falls on a Tuesday, so we wouldn't be together anyways on the actual day of our one year, since we can only see each other on the weekend (darn long distance relationships) so if this is the case, so I just go on the cruise since we wouldn't be together anyways. But if I can get the time off for a cruise, I could get the time off for Joel. But he can't get the time off, no vacation with contracts. I feel like no matter the decision, I will be letting someone down. So I feel like the real decision is to pick who to let down.
I don't want to make this decision, but I feel if I can't make this decision now, will I be able to make it in the future? If I make Joel a serious part of my future, there will be times when I will have to make hard decisions and will I be able to make the right ones. Decisions that honor our relationships and commitments to each other? Is it too early to be worrying about these things when we have only been together for one year. One year isn't that long in the big picture. But it means a lot to me, that Joel and I have made it this far, without any complications or hang ups. It has been the absolute best relationship I have ever had. No arguments, no hurt feelings, no lies, no deceit, nothing at all. and I don't want to be the one that starts.
What to do?
Pros of Going to Mexico - How often do you a get a chance to take a ten day cruise to Mexico completely free (minus spending money)? NEVER! All I have do is come up with spending money. No problem there. I would be snorkeling in the beautiful pacific, swimming with dolphins, laying in the sun every day, and drinking margaritas until I am silly. I have been needing a break and the chance to reconnect with my friend would be wonderful. Not to mention the wonderful chance of actually tanning this summer. I already have asked for the time off work, and it won't interfere with my trip to North Carolina.
However...
Cons of Going to Mexico - I feel as though I would be picking a friend over the true love of my life. I feel that Joel is the one I was meant to meet and fall in love with. I know that we will be together for a long time, but I don't want to fail at my first hard choice. What kind of message does it send to Joel if I abandon him on our first year anniversary together? Would he loose faith in me? Even just the tiniest bit? Is this worth a tan?
Even though Joel has said that he doesn't mind if I go, since this is a rare opportunity, but I feel he would prefer I stay in town. My mind flops back and forth, and with the pressure of the deadline, it all brings me to tears. Which is frightful all on its own. I feel that torn. Our anniversary falls on a Tuesday, so we wouldn't be together anyways on the actual day of our one year, since we can only see each other on the weekend (darn long distance relationships) so if this is the case, so I just go on the cruise since we wouldn't be together anyways. But if I can get the time off for a cruise, I could get the time off for Joel. But he can't get the time off, no vacation with contracts. I feel like no matter the decision, I will be letting someone down. So I feel like the real decision is to pick who to let down.
I don't want to make this decision, but I feel if I can't make this decision now, will I be able to make it in the future? If I make Joel a serious part of my future, there will be times when I will have to make hard decisions and will I be able to make the right ones. Decisions that honor our relationships and commitments to each other? Is it too early to be worrying about these things when we have only been together for one year. One year isn't that long in the big picture. But it means a lot to me, that Joel and I have made it this far, without any complications or hang ups. It has been the absolute best relationship I have ever had. No arguments, no hurt feelings, no lies, no deceit, nothing at all. and I don't want to be the one that starts.
What to do?
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