Life as a Washingtonian

My sister Julie posted this list on Facebook and I thought it was pretty funny. Here is Jeff Foxworthy's opinion of Living in Washington (with my commentary):

1. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.  This has never actually happened to me.
2. If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington. I don't own a parka, but I have worn shorts, sandals and a light rain jacket before.
3. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington. This has happened to me, but it was my mom. She meant to call one of my sisters, but called me instead. We chatted for a while and then she called my sister. I don't think that really counts...
4. If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington. I think I do this one, not too many people have heard of my hometown or where I currently live, so I go with the two hours north of Seattle or right at the top of Lake Washington descriptions.
5. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington. I have actually never hit a deer and the first person I can think of that has hit a deer lives in Maryland.
6. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington. I haven't actually done this myself, but I have felt like doing it before!
7. If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington. I'm not sure this is physically possible, but I do agree, you learn how to drive in the snow here!
8. If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington. Or you just grow a backbone and freeze to death so you can keep looking cute in your Halloween costume!
9. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington. It is true, our roads are terrible! Check out this Seattle Times article, if you don't agree!
10. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington. I don't know, I think we have summer, fall and spring... but then again I have lived in Washington since I was five. I do agree that road construction is year long season!
11. If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington. Yes! I do feel guilty if I don't recycle! Now I am starting to feel guilty when I don't put my peels in the yard waste bin!
12. If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington. I don't see a problem with this one, there is nothing wrong with knowing how you like your coffee!
13. If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington. Ha ha ha - This one is true for me too!
14. If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington. I never jay-walk. It drives Joel crazy, but I am certain the first time I do, it will result in a jay-walk ticket - just watch!
15. If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington. Isn't that called a big hill...
16. If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tully's, you live in Washington. Not that any of these options is the best coffee ever, but I can tell a difference.
17. If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington. My goodness this one is easy!
18. If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, Wenatchee , Spokane , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, and Puyallup you live in Washington. It is so fun to make my grandparents, who are from the Washington DC area, pronounce these names; they get all tongue-twisted! But to be fair, try to pronounce some of the east coast Indian names!
19. If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington. What! This one isn't fair! The Summer Olympic swimming races are held indoors, for crying out loud.
20. If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Washington. Well, I am sure this applies to more than just Washingtonians.
21. If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington. Well, that is just being prepared for emergencies! Goodness....
22. If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington. How about trails at a local park... come on, I was ten!
23. If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington. Ha! I have heard this one before and it seems to be accurate, but to be fair, I do own an umbrella and I do use it.
24. If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington. I do buy new sunglasses each year, but it is mostly due to the fact that I break them, loose them, or just want new ones!
25. If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends, you live or have lived in Washington. Well, I guess by posting this list on my blog, I just became guilty of passing it along to all my friends - oh well!

I love being a Washingtonian and can't imagine living anywhere else!