Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Bothell to Huskey Stadium

On Monday, Joel and I went for a bike ride with his parents. It was so much fun. We meet up in Bothell and rode around Lake Washington, all the way to the Huskey Stadium and then back. Judy has this thing on her bike that tells us how fast we are going (in m.p.h.) and how many miles we have traveled. We averaged about 10 miles per hour for the three hour ride. My butt is so sore, it won't go near anything that resembles or feels like a bike seat. At one point my back tire was flat, but we didn't figure that out for a while. I was so tired, and my legs felt like lead. I was working so hard to keep up with everyone and not slow them down. I was mad at myself, cause I thought I was in better shape than that. Once we put more air in my back tire, I was ready to rock and roll. What a difference! Much better. On the way back I was ridding Judy's bike, Judy was ridding Joel's bike, and Joel was ridding my bike (I'm not sure why we played Chinese-fire-bikes, but we did) and when Joel applied the breaks on my bike as we were ridding down a pretty big the front tire completely blew! So Judy and Jack had to ride back to the cars and come to pick Joel and I up. But overall, it was a great day. Perfect weather for a bike ride. Great activity to do with Joel's parents.

The rest of the weekend was spent visiting open houses, hunting down a great guitar, almost buying another rabbit (which I was going to name Jimmy-he was so FREAKING cute!), relaxing at home, and barbecuing with friends. But now it is back to Bellingham, back to work.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Goal to Rock It One Day

Listen, I want to thank leaders of the--in the faith--faith-based and community-based community for being here. --George W. Bush Washington, DC 09/06/2005

Yep. That is the guy the American public elected. Sometimes I can't believe a person who speaks consistently like this is able to get so far, especially in politics. And then sometimes, I think there are more people like him in politics than not.

I was on a website the other day, where you enter your own opinions on various topics ranging from abortion, to emigration, to foreign policy and then based on your answers, it matches with you with a politician in the race for presidency who best matches your own opinions. I was surprised with my match. But what I like even more about this website, is that it provides you with examples, based on actual votes made, bills signed, and such. It provides detailed, documented, and researched data with sources provided. A rare thing to find today. Pretty interesting to see how I matched up with different candidates. It will be an interesting election year, that is for sure.

So the long weekend. It is about time! I am very tired. Everyday after work this week I have been napping for at least an hour, which means I don't get to bed on time, since I am still wide awake. Oh well.

I have made it my goal to learn a song and know how to play it without looking at notes or anything on a guitar by Christmas this year. I am going to do it. I have always wanted to learn how to play and now seems like a good time to start. I know the cords C, D, and G. So that is a good start. I want to be as good as Justin, Joel, Mark, Mark, and Mike. Man those guys are amazing. Joel was playing something something on his bass and Mark just watched Joel's fingers for a minute and then was playing along on his electric. Amazing!!! I just sit in the corner of the room, watching in awe, and sometimes singing along if I recognize the song. I just love to sit in on their jams. One day, I hope they will let me play along. That would be way too cool.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Frustrated and Disappointed

I received some very frustrating and disappointing news this morning. How do you separate your own feelings, perceptions, and judgements from another person's dilemma? How do you do this when you have been drawn in, and involved in the situation? How do you not feel disappointed when something happens to reverse it all? How do you sit back and let it go, let the person make their own decisions, even though you don't agree?

It is very easy to say, you just have to let people fall, you have to continue to support them, guide them, and pray that you are wrong; pray that the person will be happy, and in the end all will be well. But actually doing these things, truly feeling okay and releasing the negative feelings are very difficult to actually put in motion. It is hard for me to give credit for admirable goals, to positive dreams, and to making the tough decisions in this situation. It is hard for me to stay quiet on the side lines, to be supportive, to be kind. I want to believe, I want to be supportive, I want to be kind. What is the right decision to make? It is better to stuff my opinions, views, and perceptions down; to stifle them in favor of being supportive of this person? Is it really that helpful for the person in question? Would it actually be a bigger benefit for this person to hear how I truly feel? No one enjoys lip service, and I don't enjoy giving it. At what point it is not worth it to speak my piece? At the lost of the friendship, at the risk of hurt feelings...

Life can be so tough. I have read quotes and quips at the bottom of emails or other various places, saying it is moments like this that make people strong, that define life, and give us the courage to move on. But really, it is moments like this that make the rainy weather seem fitting, that make working out sound like a good idea, that make me want to get into bed and sleep on it. I definitely don't feel encouraged my predicament, rather I feel discouraged that things won't change, feelings and opinions will remain stifled, and the past will repeat. It all always does.

Friday, May 16, 2008


So yesterday, Charlie and I came back from measuring a home of a client for the As-Built drawings I need to get down by next week and I was checking the answering machine when I heard this message...

"This message is for Jessica Hudson, Office Manager at Hudson Remodeling, this is Gary Jenson (the mayor of Ferndale); Outstanding article in the BIAWC Newsletter! Truly Outstanding. We need more articles like this, I really appreciate your message and the public needs to hear it. Outstanding, outstanding! Pat on the back to you! Thank you very much." (P.S. I had to listen to the message like ten times to get the direct quote accurate!)

I was so excited that the article was finally printed, I ran straight out to the mailbox. There it was. A full page on page three. I don't think my head can get any bigger! Yahoo!

And it is supposed to be super hot today - another plus. What a great day!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

New Baby

I want this bunny... How cute! I could use this bunny as a floor pillow, he could warm up my bed before I get in it... I really want this bunny!! I am going to need a bigger apartment!

Take a walk through my thought process

I am reading a book which discusses how society has and is treating youth by examining the various manifestations of the crisis we are currently in. The topic is very interesting, and has changed how I reflect on my own adolescent years. The points this author makes are soundly justified through scholarly research and documented studies. Consider the current stand society takes with empathy. Or rather the lack of empathy in society. I will admit it, I don't have much empathy for any one outside of my family. But really, I can have little empathy for individuals within my family. I lock my doors when I see homeless people panhandling on freeway exits. I am irritated when I see the very "homeless" looking guy who lives in my building - "would it kill him to shower?" I think. Society actually encourages this behavior. Over time we have this encouragement through the place of homeless children in orphanages, where they were 'out of sight out of mind'. How long do stories of missing children, victims of shootings, murder etc. stay in the news? Long enough get the public hype to sell copies, and then it is onto the next big story. Why is this? When did it start? Can it change? What else does society do that I don't know about? Very interesting.

I found out yesterday that I need new tires. Not only did I drive home from Redmond on Sunday night with a nearly-flat right front tire, but there are hardly any treads left. Oops. I also need my oil changed, and the check engine light has been on for about the past two months. I knew this would happen, you get the car paid off and finally own something out right, and the stupid things starts to break down. Just knew it.

So another split holiday between my family and Joel's family. His mom and I had a surprisingly enjoyable chat. Started off talking about Scientology, then Wicca, then drugs, then bulimia/anorexia, then projects, then organization... anyways surprisingly enjoyable. It's not that I don't like Joel's mom, it is that I don't understand her sometimes, if not all the time. I think if we have a few more conversations like this one, then I might begin to understand where she comes from. People just have a way of surprising you.

My plans for the afternoon consist of napping. I love to nap. Anna, my old roommate, used to call me The Professional Sleeper. I can sleep for days without waking to eat, use the bathroom, or anything. I love to sleep. When I am upset, angry, sad, or depressed all I want to do is sleep. I love to nap, doze, and rest. There is nothing like being wrapped up in a warm blanket and turning off your brain. I love it. Sometimes I sleep just to sleep.

You know, thinking of Anna reminded me of her other nickname for me; Extreme. I do everything in extremes. I either sleep all the time, or hardly at all. (Like when I worked full time, was in classes at WWU full time, and hung out with Aleks and Cau until I went to work... they love to talk about those times.) I am either super clean or super messy, there is no tidy about me. You can either eat off the toilet or you can't even get in the door. I either don't drink or I drink to get drunk (and often times that just ends up in the backyard... Anna and Joel can speak to that). I never do things moderately, it is always one extreme or the other. The same goes for my school work, my physical activity level, my budget, when I read, when I write my stories... goodness. One time I told Anna I would have a TV show based on my life story and I would call it The Jess-o Extreme-o Hour.

Well, back to it. Only two and half more hours until nap time. Hooray.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

New Day

Today is a new day. I want so badly for this time to go smoothly, for things to work, for goals to be met... I know I can do it, I have to... Today is a new day!

Monday, May 5, 2008

French Fried Brains and Eggs

I am so tired. My body hurts, my brain hurts, my whole body seems to be on the border of falling of apart.

On Friday morning, I arrived home from North Carolina. Joel picked me up from the airport and dropped me back off at his place. I slept there for the rest of the day and then headed up to Bellingham later that night.

On Saturday morning at 6:30am I got up to get ready for a long day at the 2008 Tour of Remodeled Homes. This year we had two homes on the tour and our newly hired marketing company was coming to town. This was a great chance to share with Donna and Mary, our new marketing ladies, the work we do. I picked up Donna and Mary from their hotel, and took them out to the first home. They met with Charlie and Stuart, and then after a while I took them over to house number two. There they met Dave and saw another project we completed. Then I brought them back to the hotel, picked up lunch for everyone (including the Comcast guy) and headed back to help Dave out at house number two. Then once I finished up there, I met up with Joel and the boys. Justin was in town (he has been living in Alaska working in a mine using that Geology degree of his) and so was Mike (recovering from extensive chemo and stem cell treatments for his cancer). Mark, Mark, and Mark B's girlfriend came over and we were up until about 2am catching up and having fun.

On Sunday, it was back to Tour of Homes to show people around the home, to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over, to listen to retarded questions, judgements by people not in position to give them, all with a sappy smile on my face. But even after we closed up the doors for another successful year, it wasn't over yet. It was home to pick up Joel and then out to dinner with Donna and Mary. Even though the food was delicious and I did have a good time.

Then it was home, to say goodbye to a Joel that I hardly saw, and to bed so I can start another five days of work. Right off the bat this morning, Donna and Mary were at the office to talk more marketing with us. That lasted another five hours.

I am so tired. I don't want to talk about work anymore. I don't want to wear uncomfortable shoes. I don't want to wear suits anymore. I don't want to fake smile. I am tired of being passionate. I am so tired of it all. I think I need a day off. I need more than three glasses of wine. I need more than my bunny slippers and my heart blanket. I need a quiet place, Joel, and more wine.

Instead, I will finish my glass, I will put the bunnies to bed, I will brush my teeth, put on my pj's, and I will go to bed. Oh boy... I can't wait for it all to start over tomorrow. Yippee.

Please pardon my sarcasm. It must be the wine.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Oh so tired...

Oh my. How in the world am I so tired? Our meetings go from 8:00am until about 5:00pm, with dinner at 6:00pm. All I have to do physically is sit in a chair and type (Linda asked me to take notes of the commitments during the meetings). But I am exhausted. I want to lay down and close my eyes. I think that if I did that, I wouldn't wake up in time to make our 6:00am flight tomorrow. Every single night, when I get back to my room, I watch maybe an hour of TV and then I am asleep, remote in hand and lights on. When morning comes, you need to bounce right up and be ready to rock-n-roll. It is starting to drain me, but today is the last day. Thank goodness.

Well, better go, the first meeting is starting and I need to get ready. Audios.