Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Take a walk through my thought process

I am reading a book which discusses how society has and is treating youth by examining the various manifestations of the crisis we are currently in. The topic is very interesting, and has changed how I reflect on my own adolescent years. The points this author makes are soundly justified through scholarly research and documented studies. Consider the current stand society takes with empathy. Or rather the lack of empathy in society. I will admit it, I don't have much empathy for any one outside of my family. But really, I can have little empathy for individuals within my family. I lock my doors when I see homeless people panhandling on freeway exits. I am irritated when I see the very "homeless" looking guy who lives in my building - "would it kill him to shower?" I think. Society actually encourages this behavior. Over time we have this encouragement through the place of homeless children in orphanages, where they were 'out of sight out of mind'. How long do stories of missing children, victims of shootings, murder etc. stay in the news? Long enough get the public hype to sell copies, and then it is onto the next big story. Why is this? When did it start? Can it change? What else does society do that I don't know about? Very interesting.

I found out yesterday that I need new tires. Not only did I drive home from Redmond on Sunday night with a nearly-flat right front tire, but there are hardly any treads left. Oops. I also need my oil changed, and the check engine light has been on for about the past two months. I knew this would happen, you get the car paid off and finally own something out right, and the stupid things starts to break down. Just knew it.

So another split holiday between my family and Joel's family. His mom and I had a surprisingly enjoyable chat. Started off talking about Scientology, then Wicca, then drugs, then bulimia/anorexia, then projects, then organization... anyways surprisingly enjoyable. It's not that I don't like Joel's mom, it is that I don't understand her sometimes, if not all the time. I think if we have a few more conversations like this one, then I might begin to understand where she comes from. People just have a way of surprising you.

My plans for the afternoon consist of napping. I love to nap. Anna, my old roommate, used to call me The Professional Sleeper. I can sleep for days without waking to eat, use the bathroom, or anything. I love to sleep. When I am upset, angry, sad, or depressed all I want to do is sleep. I love to nap, doze, and rest. There is nothing like being wrapped up in a warm blanket and turning off your brain. I love it. Sometimes I sleep just to sleep.

You know, thinking of Anna reminded me of her other nickname for me; Extreme. I do everything in extremes. I either sleep all the time, or hardly at all. (Like when I worked full time, was in classes at WWU full time, and hung out with Aleks and Cau until I went to work... they love to talk about those times.) I am either super clean or super messy, there is no tidy about me. You can either eat off the toilet or you can't even get in the door. I either don't drink or I drink to get drunk (and often times that just ends up in the backyard... Anna and Joel can speak to that). I never do things moderately, it is always one extreme or the other. The same goes for my school work, my physical activity level, my budget, when I read, when I write my stories... goodness. One time I told Anna I would have a TV show based on my life story and I would call it The Jess-o Extreme-o Hour.

Well, back to it. Only two and half more hours until nap time. Hooray.

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